A Little Bird Told Me
by LegallyEccentric
Summary: When the zoo gets a new transfer, not everyone is pleased about it. Mainly Skipper. You never know what a penguin who likes orange smoothies might do... A very humorous tale of re-adjustmenting in a new zoo for one female penguin named Lillian.
1. Where Things Supposedly Start

_**Hi everyone, my name's Alice. This is my first story on the great FanFiction site, so go a bit easy on me. I'm still figuring out how everything works in this 'field' (normally I'M the one reading, not writing). I'm going to send this fic I've been working on for a test drive. If you like how it goes, I'll continue to post it here.**_

_**-Alice (I know, my name's a bit ironic for PoM authors)**_

_**DICLAIMER: I don't own the Penguins of Madagascar, and probably won't EVER.**_

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><p>Kowalski stared at the computer, obviously with conflicting thoughts. "Skipper..."<p>

The said penguin stood a couple feet away, calmly sipping his coffee, watching over the scene. Birds chirping outside, Kowalski scanning the computer, Private and Rico messing with the scanner-type printer, and an unconscious zookeeper slumped down in the corner. Everything was going according to plan, so far. "What is it, Kowalski?"

"Um...based on the fact that we can't read, I used these symbols and pictures here as clues."

"Well," Skipper frowned. "Clues to what?"

Kowalski glanced at the electronic device again. "I believe we're getting a new transfer."

"A new transfer! Smashing! They'll probably be very nice and I bet we'll-" The young hyper penguin was interrupted by another who was not so keen on the idea.

"No, Private, it is NOT 'smashing'. What if they're another spy out to steal Kowalski's inventions or our classified information or something? This isn't good at all." Their leader began to pace across the dull-colored countertop.

"But Skippah-"

"No 'buts' young Private. We are NOT letting the spy anywhere near us unless we're...spying...on the enemy spy."

"Erm...Skipper?" The intellectual penguin began, yet again.

"YES?" Kowalski paused, with an expression on his face clearly revealing that he was hiding something (and failing at it). "What is it? Spit it out."

"The transfer- it's another penguin, Skipper."

Simply put, their leader was not pleased with this information. There is no need for me, the author, to go into detail with what happened. At all.

After Skipper (sort of) calmed down, he spoke. "Kowalski, are you SURE about this?"

The genius looked a bit hurt that his commander would even question his certainty. "72.3% sure, Skipper."

"Okay then. Let's get the chimps down here to help us decode these squiggly lines so that we can gather more intel on this 'transfer'." The penguin was gaining back his composure as a dignified leader rapidly by giving orders. "Rico, go bring them here."

The psychotic penguin jumped up from smushing his face on the scanner, laughing slightly evilly as he slid out of the room.

"Are you sure sending Rico out to do that is the best idea?" The tallest of the remaining three asked.

"Not quite. But he gets the job done."

Private jumped over to the counter that both Skipper and Kowalski were standing on. "Is it really necessary to call every new transfer a spy before we even meet them?"

"Yes. Like I always say: guilty until proven innocent." Skipper responded.

Kowalski's non-existent eyebrows furrowed. "I think it's supposed to be the other way around."

Skipper was about to make a smart reply when Rico came back in, dragging Phil and Mason behind him.

"Hello, Phil and Mason," Private waved.

The monkeys lay in a heap by the window the weapons expert pulled them through. As they began to get up, they shot Rico a dirty look. "Greetings, Private." Mason turned to Skipper. "Now why on EARTH did you send Rico to bring us here in a MOST unpleasant manner?"

"Kowalski found out that there's going to be a 'new transfer'," he said the last part with a hint of distaste. "We need some more information on them, but since we can't read, we need you to translate."

The chimps narrowed their eyes, but still obliged. "Fine. We're here already anyway. But PLEASE do not order Rico to retrieve us again." Skipper nodded, so Phil and Mason got to work decoding the strange human symbols on the computer's monitor.

Phil rapidly translated scribbles to hand gestures, and Mason just as quickly translated those to words, audible to everyone in the room. "It appears that the new transfer is a penguin-"

Skipper cut him off. "Yes, yes, we know that already. Get to the good stuff that proves they're a spy."

The chimps frowned, continuing on. "As I was saying, she's from an aquarium in California-"

"Wait- WHAT?" The penguin leader had a slightly confused look on his face. "SHE?"

"Indeed, Skipper."

The previously mentioned penguin began muttering under his breath inaudible words while pacing back and forth again on top of the smooth countertop I enjoy describing so much.

Skipper's head swiveled towards the primates. "She wouldn't happen to just be stopping by here until something tragic that happened to her that I don't care about is fixed; say, for instance, her habitat was 'accidentally' maliciously destroyed as the result of top secret agents, arch-enemies or snow-cone eating zombies. Anything like that?"

All surrounding animals had a bewildered expression upon their faces.

Phil and Mason exchanged a quick glance confirming each other's suspicions. Skipper had lost his marbles. Again. "No, Skipper. It seems that she will be staying."

"No!" Skipper moaned. "I don't want to have a prancing, glitter-filled hormonal girly-girl wandering through our base, filling it with rainbows, Lunacorns and motivational stickers! We already have Private for that."

Private gasped. "That's offensive to say when I'm right here!"

"Good, because I say it quite a bit when you're not around, too," Skipper snapped. "You need to stop using our recording time up on the TV for that silly Lunacorn show."

"It's not silly! It teaches proper behaviors like sharing, kindness, and-"

"All the other mushy-gushy things you can think of," his leader finished, leaving Private wide-eyed with his beak hanging open. "So, what else does the magic box have to say about our newest disaster?"

Mason seemed startled at the request. "Nothing much else. Phil reads that she enjoys orange smoothies, which would be a great way to welcome her here, but seeing how you're already set on hating her and shooting nerf gun bullets while she's in the line of fire... I think our purpose is done here."

With that, the chimps turned to leave.

Skipper paused, contemplating something deeply. "She must be a spy for Blowhole! She likes orange smoothies just like that surprising soft-skinned evil dolphin!"

"Aww..." Rico whined, then continued talking in his own way. "I like orange smoothies..."

"TRAITOR!"

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><p>"Alright men, do we have any sight of the transferring spy's crate yet?"<p>

"Not yet, Skipper," Kowalski spoke, staring through the binoculars. "Oh wait- there's Alice now...she's either carrying a transfer crate or a giant bin of the biggest taco the nearest Mexican restaurant has to offer."

"I've had one of those before...they do not settle with your stomach well AT ALL."

Rico began pointing frantically towards Alice, signaling that she was getting closer. He quickly swallowed the miscellaneous equipment they had out before the said zookeeper could notice.

Sighing in disgust, Alice dropped the crate into the habitat. From inside the wooden box, a voice could be heard grumbling uncomprehendable words and phrases.

The penguin quartet leader shoved Private forward. "Go do your thing."

The young bird was confused. "What thing, Skippah'?"

"You know..." Skipper began waving his flippers around, trying to find the right words, "...your 'cute' thing. Introduce yourself. 'Ello, my name's Private. I have a fake British accent. What's your name? I'm extremely adorable, so there's no reason to be frightened around me or my friends. Want a hug?' Something like that."

Private frowned. "That's not very nice."

"Well, you _are_ nice. So...go make friends to the spy."

"You know, I may not be able to hear what you all are saying, but it would be really great if you could stop chatting and get me out of here."

"Oh. Right," Private grabbed the crowbar Rico conveniently hacked up for doing the job.

After a few pulls the crate popped open. "Thank goodness, the air in there was getting stuffy."

Out stepped a penguin. Female, as the chimps had read. Feathers the color of autumn leaves and eyes that sparkled like stars at midnight. She was stunning, with beautiful curves and a coat of feathers that glistened in the warm sunlight.

Kidding.

Out _had_ stepped a female penguin that was not stunning, nor had the sparkling eyes, glistening feathers or beautiful curves. No, she was simple: built the way all the others were, but was a bit shorter than Rico, and skinner. Simple, hardly a curve, blue-grey eyes like the rest, and the same black feathers. Not ugly, not gorgeous. Just...simple.

"Hi, my name's-"

"Lillian! Is that you?"

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><p><em><strong>So, please review! I want to know how I did. Constuctive criticism is very helpful, though PLEASE no flames. I know this idea has been done before, but I plan to make mine different, perhaps in more ways than one. Thanks!<strong>_


	2. Shoutin' Stuff and Other Oddities

_**Hello everyone! Thank you for all your kind reviews! I know it's been awhile...two months...BUT I'm back to working on a bunch of chapters, and after a good friend of mine kept pestering me to upload them, I am. So, therefore, I bring you part two. Special thanks to my pesky friend up there, and another who helped me preview it and make a few edits.**_

_**Also, as a side note, if you've read this story before, you've noticed that I changed the main character's name. I realized just a day ago that another great author on this site was using the same name too, for a similar fanfic. After a dicussion, we decided that to make our stories more unique, I could change Ava's name from that to Lillian. **_

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><p>The she-penguin twisted around in shock. "Mar-Marlene? Is that you?"<p>

Marlene sighed in relief. "Lilly, it's been so long! I thought I would never see you again!" She ran over to the female penguin, who apparently went by the name of Lillian.

"I know! When you left the aquarium down in California, everything was so quiet. You would've thought someone just died," Lillian added with a chuckle.

"Really? I didn't th-" Marlene was cut off by Skipper, which brought to the girl's attention that the boys were staring at the friendly duo with their beaks dropped open in surprise.

_"You two know each other?"_

Lillian answered with a laugh, "Of course! We were neighbors- and best friends I might add- at our old aquarium in Northern California. Our exhibits were right next to each other."

Marlene joined in the laughter. "All those times we had together...oh, it was fantastic! Remember the time we once wrecked havoc with that bubble blower you found, Lilly...?" The two giggled hard at the memory.

"A few modifications...the place was an absolute mess!" They were howling with laughter now. "Or the time we got a hold of those firecrackers...?" At the mention of the explosives Rico perked up. His eyes were filled with pure destructive joy at the thought of fireworks.

"Marlene?" Skipper was trying to get the otter's attention, but was failing. "Marlene!" The laughter among the girls was too much to compete with. Then again, Skipper _is_ Skipper, so he could therefore easily use 'the voice of much intensity, loudness, and yelling' that he uses so well in situations like this. "MARLENE!" Everyone went silent. "May I speak with you for a minute?" He quickly turned back to the guys. "Stall the spy. DON'T give away valuable intell, got it?" he whispered so Lillian couldn't hear.

Skipper and Marlene swiftly traveled to an unoccupied area. "Give me all the information you can about her."

Marlene narrowed her eyes. "Skipper, you can't possibly think she's a spy, can you? Your paranoia has gotten way out of control."

"Of course. Paranoia's my name, which I have perfectly under control, like everything else around here. And it'll stay that way, if you'll just give me the information, Marlene."

Marlene rolled her eyes at Skipper. "Lillian's my friend. I've known her for a couple of great years. I'm not going to start handing all her secrets to you, who hardly even knows her, and for once needs to believe that everyone new here is not a spy!"

Skipper paused for a moment, as if in deep conflicting thought. "So she does have deep, evil secrets! You really have to tell me now, Marlene. "

The otter threw her arms up in the air. "It NEVER stops with you, does it! Lillian is NOT a spy. And I'm still not going to betray my friend by telling you the story of her life. Ask her yourself!" Pausing only to breathe in deeply, she continued on. "And her secrets aren't evil!"

Sensing Marlene was about to stomp off, Skipper begged, "Just tell me something, won't you? It won't hurt!"

"Fine." Skipper stared at her with intense anticipation. "She's from California." Marlene quickly ran off before Skipper could pester her anymore.

Walking back to join the rest of the group, Skipper muttered under his breath. "Mammals..." Before he decided to make himself known to everyone else, Skipper hid behind a bush near their habitat to eavesdrop.

"...My name's Private, and this is Kowalski and Rico."

Skipper groaned. _"Note to self: slap Private later for giving away our names."_

"Who's the other one?" He heard Lillian question.

_"Don't say it!"_ Skipper mentally ordered Private.

"That would be Skippah'," Private answered. "He's our leader."

_"Note to self: slap Private **hard** later for giving away too much info."_

"Leader? Hmm. That would explain his bossiness." Lillian said, cracking a smile. Skipper frowned. He watched as his men-_his men!_- gaze at her with a look on their faces. _"What was that look? No. Don't tell me they're falling for this- this spy!"_ He thought coldly.

Another voice suddenly entered his thoughts: it was not as harsh, more logical, and less paranoid. Skipper didn't like it one bit. _"Then again, you can't blame them. They've rarely seen a female penguin for the longest of time."_

_"So what? That's no excuse for fawning over a spy!"_

_"You don't even know if she is one."_

**"Guilty until proven innocent!"**

_"It's the other way around."_

**"Not in my book!"**

"Skipper, are you alright?" Kowalski asked.

It then dawned on him that he had shouted out his last few rebukes, and he had fallen out of his hiding spot, the bush, and now everyone was staring at him. _"At least that pesky voice stopped."_

Skipper scrambled to get up. "Of course! Why would you ever think something was wrong?"

Kowalski raised a penguin-eyebrow, along with everyone else. "Well, first of all, you fell out of a bush, scre-"

"Don't answer that."

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><p>After Skipper finally regained some of his pride that had been shattered from being caught falling out of a bush screaming random phrases, he was questioned by a certain penguin he wasn't very fond of.<p>

"Will I be given a tour of the zoo?"

Skipper growled to himself. "Kowalski, Rico, escort the lady around and introduce her to the rest of the animals. I'm going back to the H.-" he paused, remembering that he didn't want her to know that they had an underground headquarters just yet. "Um, habitat. I need a coffee."

Private had a confused look on his face. "Skippah', aren't we already at our habitat?"

"Er- Yes. Which is why you guys need to go...on your tour...while I'm GOING...to stay BACK...at the habitat." Skipper began to make his way to the middle of the said area.

Private was still confused at his leader's word play, but decided not to continue arguing it. "What should I do then?"

Skipper's annoyance grew and, exploded with the intensity of a thousand suns all going through a supernova, that is, if they weren't all drawf stars, but that isn't the point. The point is that Skipper suddenly became very angry. **"Go with everyone else! You already do that when given the choice!"** Everyone was getting on his nerves today. Ever since that Lillian showed up. Hence the need for the coffee. Double expresso. _Now._

The others stared with large eyes in shock. Akward silence rang in all their ears, only to be interrupted by Rico, who only helped make it a bit more akward. "Uhhhhhh..."

Kowalski's turn to break the ice-sort of. "I'd say that we better start the tour." The penguins (minus Skipper, who was off on his rampage and getting coffee) began showing the she-penguin around.

As they walked, they spoke in chit-chat, or as other people like to call it, small talk.

"How on _Earth_ would Skipper get coffee from the middle of your guys' habitat? Did YOU boys see a coffee-maker around there?" asked a very frustrated and confused Lillian. She didn't like not being able to figure things out on her own, if you could tell, my good reader buddies.

Remembering Skipper's secrecy policy, Kolwalski answered with a half-hearted "No idea." He didn't like saying he didn't know something, even if he did know, to others either. It was just sad and embarassing.

Lillian crossed her arms- Er, flippers. "Is Skipper normally like this?"

Private spoke next in his (fake) British accent. "No. He's acting really odd lately." In his mind he added, _"Ever since Lillian got here."_

"So, what do you do around here?" she questioned, sensing everyone's uneasiness at the current subject of the angered leader.

Rico quickly brought forth his answer. "KA-BOOM!" his flippers waved about as he tried to show the explosion, ending his shout in psychotic laughter. Then he really did hack up a stick of dynamite.

Eyes widened, Lillian offered another question. "Anyone do anything _less_ destructive?"

Kowalski perked up, about to explain his love of science when he thought better of it. Too many lab explosions. His head dropped, as did the expression on his face. "Er- Kolwalski?"

"Um...Science. I really like science." He still looked down towards his feet.

"That's nice, but why'd your expression drop a moment ago?"

"Um...things don't always go right...in the lab." Lillian's penguin-brow lifted in a very Kowalski-ish manner. Now his own eyebrow move was being used against him. Ha. It's not like he had it copyrighted or anything, right? So Lillian _could_ legally use it against him. But then again, even if he did have it copyrighted, and then chose to sue Lillian on the matter, which was unlikely, but then again, we never know with Kowalski. So, metaphorically, if he DID chose to sue her, police probably wouldn't arrest her or fine her a million dollars or something. I mean, really? Arrest a penguin? But, because we said we're being metaphorical 'n all, say the police did arrest or fine Lillian the penguin. Where would she get that kind of money? I mean, c'mon, she's a PENGUIN! Certainly not the water fountain. Perhaps if she robbed a bank...? No, that wouldn't work. And why on Earth would a human judge and human police be carrying out this penguin copyright infringement issue? It's not like they could understand them. Besides that, how could a penguin like our friend Kowalski copyright his eyebrow movements...?

"How about you, Private? What are your favorite things?"

The young penguin thought for a moment before responding excitedly, hopping up and down, in fact. "The Lunacorns are my favorite show on the tele and I love peanut butter winkies!" She decided not to comment on that.

They continued waddling around, introducing Lillian to the animals as they went. As they neared a certain exhibit, loud, obnoxious music was soon heard.

"C'mon! Shake it! Shake it! Today we give da sky-spirits an extra-doubly-dose of our booty-shakin' goodyness!" demanded a certain heavily accented voice from that one certain exhibit.

"Well," Private started, "we may not like it, but we're going to have to introduce King Julien to Lillian." Rico groaned.

The she-penguin suddenly grew wide eyed, sensing fairly easily that these creatures she was about to meet were not very well-liked by her penguin escorts. "Erm...what's exactly so awful about them?"

Kowalski had the response. "Not all of them are annoying. Maurice is alright, King Julien is...well, you'll meet him in a minute. And Mort is..." he paused, searching for the proper term. "um...Mort."

Lillian nodded, as Rico lead the foursome into the booming habitat.

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><p><em><strong>So there it is! Let me know if there were any bad parts in the story...I might have gotten a little carried away with this. Especially the rant about copy-right infringement (that paragraph was actually meant to go on so long that readers were to skip over it)... Anyway, thanks again, and please comment. I'm not sure how fast I'll get the next chapter up, with schoolwork and testing coming up. Meh.<strong>_


	3. The Search for the Great Coffee Machine

_**Hello everyone! I'm being much more productive lately. Hopefully you've been enjoying this story just as much as I've had writing it!**_

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><p>Now Lillian understood why the penguins didn't like the lemurs.<p>

As soon as they jumped into their habitat, things were...odd, to say the least.

Since they weren't noticed when they entered, due to extreme booty-shaking, the foursome watched the scene in front of them from behind the cover of the bouncyhouse. King Julien and his slightly brainwashed subjects were dancing 'till they dropped at the foot of the his giant throne. Their boombox was not far away, blaring their dance music at the highest possible volume.

"King Julien, we've been at this for seven hours already," wheezed an on-the-chubbier-side short grey aye-aye lemur. "Can't we take a break?"

"NO! Da Sky-Spirits will be most angry at us if we stop the funky beat now."

A tiny mouse lemur passed out onto the ground. "I hurt everywhere!" he squeaked out in a high-pitched voice.

"Fine, Mort. My royal feet and amazing booty could rest." Maurice sighed in relief as he dropped on top of a seat at the royal smoothie-bar.

Lillian's penguin-brow moved up at the scene. As if Private could read her mind (he could read the expression on her face, though), he answered in a a low voice, "This is normal."

Mort soon regained his seemingly endless energy, and just as quickly took advantage of it by clinging onto his highness' feet. It all went to waste, however, when Julien shouted, "NOT DA FEET!" and kicked him easily out of his kingdom.

The she-penguin's eyes widened as her beak slowly opened in surprise, desperatly trying to form words. Kowalski noticed. "This is also normal." He began leading the group out of the habitat while Lillian was still staring at the lemurs with her expression etched with disbelief at the previous sights. She still hadn't formed any words yet recognized by Webster's English Dictionary.

"_That_ is only a preview of what the lemurs do," explained Kowalski, with Rico nodding his head vigorously in agreement. "Just wait, and you'll see what power they have of annoyance they truly have. Julien can drive Skipper pretty close to insane, and has nearly done it before."

"Many times, too," added Private.

"Er-um...s-so that happens alot? It's completely natural for one lemur kick another out of the ballpark?"

Rico spoke up. "Yep!"

"And what's more," the shortest contined, "is that Mort won't be harmed at all by the incident and still bows down to King Julien." They continued waddling on.

"But it doesn't make sense...how can Mort _not_ be harmed in any way from all this? It's not-"

Suddenly, a furry missile came shooting out of the sky. It landed right in front of the quartet, with a little "oof!" and an "I like flying!". Guess who?

Mort jumped up with ease of...lots of...practice? Anywho, his already ginormous eyes were just made bigger when he saw Lillian. "KIIINNNGGG JUUULLLIIIEEN! Da penguins got a new birdie friend!"

"Not another fishy-fish-smelling penguin! I cannot have dem stinking up my kingly-dom!" The 'King' leaned over his habitat's wall to see what was going on. "Wait a _min-u-te_," he said, stretching out every syllable. "Nobody was a telling me that da new penguin was a lady penguin!"

Kowalski leaned towards the Rico and Private saying in a low voice, "...and humans said the only way to tell male and female birds of our species was though a DNA test- ha! If King Julien can tell the difference without that, then those humans aren't looking so bright, now are they?" Weapons expert and the private nodded in agreement.

Lillian narrowed her grey-blue eyes at the ring-tail lemur. She had an idea on where this was headed.

Julien hopped down from his spot on the ledge. He began to step around Lillian, examining her intensely. Lillian clearly wasn't enjoying her situation, and was trying to send the other penguins a pleading look to get her out of there. However, the boys just stood there watching, perhaps a little stunned at the situation.

"Heellloooo," Julien started. "I ams the King Julien. Note da 'Kingly' part. It is meaning that I am all important and stuff." He leaned in towards Lillian's face dramatically. "And who might you be being, pretty birdie?"

Lillian stepped back, her eyes still narrowed. "I am not interested in whatever game you're trying to play."

"Who says I am playing da game-y things?" He straightened back up.

"I am." She paused. "And it's pretty clear you're attempting to play that game that has to do with my heart. Listen buddy, it ain't happening. That little game you're playing, you're losing. Big time." She spoke very coldly. Julien crossed his arms at this.

"Sassy lady," he smiled slowly. "I likie."

Lillian's eyes shot wide open, her sputtering out any rebuke she could. "As I said before, I am** not** interested. You were never winning this 'game' and you never will. Got it?" The she-penguin turned her back on him, fuming.

King Julien hopped back into his 'Kingdom' saying only a few words while slowly tapping his fingers together like a villain might do. But do they? No. Only in the movies. And...television shows like this one. "This game-ity game is not over. You will be mine, whatever-your-namey-thing-is."

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><p>Lillian stomped past her guides in frustration. Guys just...don't do that around her.<p>

The boys were still standing there, gawking while processing what just happened. Shaking their heads to try and clear things up, they slid after Lillian. Her penguin-eyebrow-thingy was furrowed deeply.

"Lillian, are you alright?" Private piped up.

Snapping out of her daze, Lillian responded, "Yeah. I'm fine."

Kowalski threw an obvious statement out there. "You didn't look 'fine' a second ago."

She turned her head to him. "No, really, I'm okay. Nothing's the matter."

The boys cast a disbelieving glance at her, but didn't question her any further. "Where next?"

Rico shrugged, muttering something along the lines of "I don't know."

Private replied with a more definite answer. "We've gotten just about everyone...oh, we haven't shown you Marlene's place yet."

Lillian smiled, and the foursome was off sliding through to zoo to the otter habitat.

Marlene was standing inside her 'room' at the moment, pacing back and forth. Skipper had really annoyed her earlier, but she had calmed down, quickly after stomping off. His annoyingness didn't quite have the same effect as it used to.

But that wasn't what was troubling her. Lillian was. She was back, that was a good thing, right? Somehow, it didn't seem right. Lillian was _definitely_ going to bring some commotion to the zoo now that she was here. Quite suddenly, a rookery of four familiar penguins popped in though her entrance. "GAH! Don't you guys _ever_ knock? You startled me!"

"Sorry Marlene, but as we've said before, such pleasantries would only slow us down." Kolwaski said blandly, as if he'd already gone over this quite a few times with her. Which he had.

Lillian had yet another confused look upon her penguin-y face. "Wha...? What would you even be in a hurry for?"

Her question was ignored, however, as Private jumped for the opportunity to explain the situation to Marlene. "We dropped by to show Lillian where you live."

"Oh. Alright."

Lillian had a smirk on as she joked to her otter friend. "I know where you live," she said in a creepy voice.

"Lillian, you're just plain odd sometimes."

"Yep. It's all an amazing comedy act played by me. You cannot help but to laugh. _Now laugh_."

The two started talking rapidly, excluding the other birds in the room. The others turned to leave when they realized they had become invisible to the close friends...Lillian would be able to find her way back to their habitat, right?

Marlene and Lillian spent the next few hours chatting and laughing their heads off about days long past, but no matter how much Marlene enjoyed having Lillian back around, that same thought kept lurking in her head.

They said their good-byes and ta-tas and see-you-laters and whatever you like to call it when they were awakened to how late it had become and such forth. As Lillian turned to leave, Marlene's otter-mind was still retracing that one thought. Lillian was going to stir something up, even if it wasn't intentional, it was just her nature.

But what?

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><p>Skipper stood in the middle of his team's underground base, staring off into some unknown fixed point in the far distance, all while sipping his coffee with a fish placed inside it. Besides for occasional stirring, I have NO idea what the fish is for exactly. Unless he wants to flavor the coffee. All this means is that Skipper has a coffeemaker located somewhere inside the H.Q., and I <em>still<em> don't know where that would be. Trust me, I've been searching for the invisible said machine on the show. I'm going to take this as a mystery that needs more investigation or as a plot hole. Whatever suites your fancy, readers.

Anyway, Skipper was just standing there, off in La-la land. That Lillian was bothering him. But who doesn't? She had a slight bit of an attitude, and he didn't like it. He seriously was hoping that she was going to be shipped out of the zoo soon, just like all those guest stars we see. And if those humans weren't going to do it, he could easily get it done, precisely the way he and his men had taken care of some of their other short-term unwanted 'guests'.

No matter what the others said or argued, Skipper still went with his 'guilty until proven innocent' policy, especially with the transfers. You can never know when a spy may coming knocking on your door acting as a simple nancycat. Lillian would not be an exception to that rule.

Actually getting out of his trance that had gone on for who knows how long, Skipper turned to look at the clock. The boys should be getting back from the tour soon, so he began to climb up the ladder in case they arrived early with Lillian and she wondered where he had gone. But, because this fanfic has been written by me, nobody can go up a set of ladders safely. Just as Skipper was halfway up, three other penguins came flying down from the entrance causing a rather horrendous mess as they all came crashing onto the floor below.

After a few "ow"s were exchanged, and the leader pulled himself out of the pile. He looked at the remaining penguins and soon noticed that Lillian wasn't there.

"Where's Lillian?"

Second-in-command pulled himself out. "We stopped by Marlene's habitat," he stated painfully. "She's still there; the two of them couldn't stop talking."

Skipper nodded at Kowalski's answer, then went off to find his now spilled coffee among his comrades. "Private," he began, "you didn't give away any more of our secrets to the enemy, did you?"

A muffled reply came from somewhere under Rico. Kowalski and Skipper swapped a glance, then hefted the weapons expert off of the poor private. Gasping for air, the youngest was able to work out a quick "thanks," before answering his leader's question. "We just answered a few of her questions as we gave the tour, Skippah'. Kowalski didn't even give away where the coffeemaker is," Skipper nodded once again at this, when Private gained a confused expression on his face. "Where is the coffee machine?"

Skipper turned back to the private. "That's private, Private."

* * *

><p>Our she-penguin friend we've been stalking was now making her way out of Marlene's habitat. The sun was sinking under the horizon, at least as far as she could tell. It's kind've hard to see though a jungle of a massive city to stare at a great flaming ball of fire and hydrogen and other gases that most of you readers don't care about. Anyway, point is, it was getting dark out. Lillian didn't quite fell like heading back to a giant slab of concrete that apparently had a coffeemaker somewhere. Waddling around the zoo, Lillian eventually found the main gate with that odd-looking belltower with monkeys sculpted on it. Climbing up, she sat down and leaned up against the bell. The scene in front of her seemed very calming, the fading dark orange light from the sunset bathing Central Park in the same golden light. Unfortunately for her, it was that time of the day for the bell to be used. The first bell shook her out of her daze, the second had her jump up from sitting there, and by the eighth, Lillian was glaring at it with wherever her ears were covered. A few seconds passed to make sure it was done and she sat down again.<p>

The sun slid down out of view and the indigo sky soon hung overhead. The light specs of stars shone above. Lillian smiled; she liked this zoo. The folks seemed friendly, minus a few, and perhaps she would get along well here. Leaning against that strange bell, Lillian realized that maybe, just maybe, she would come to love this place.

Lillian let out a sigh.

And maybe this place would come to love her, too.

* * *

><p><em><strong>My attempt at making a nice, non-cliffhanger or goofy ending. As with any of my chapters so far, I urge you to comment! At this point in time, I only have reviews for my first chapter...which was added two months ago. So please, I'd really like to hear how I'm doing, find any rough spots, and hear some wonderful advice on how to go on with this seeing as it's my first story. Thanks!<strong>_


	4. Won't You Please Drop In?

_**I'm extremely sorry for the hold-up. I tend to let my mind go off on a tangent for long periods of time, in which, I forget to do things, ie: update the story. Thanks for the reviews! They reminded me that I should be spending my time writing this...also, thanks for letting me know where the coffee machine was- now that you mention it, I do recall it being in Kowalski's lab. So, sorry for the wait; hopefully the new school year won't stop me from updating!**_

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><p>Realizing time had played tricks and completely vanished, Lillian began trekking back to that concrete slab of a habitat. No, she did not like it. It was just so...boring. A block of rock surrounded by water? Unbelievably boring. Sure, she never thought her place at the aquarium was that great, but now, she was starting to rethink that thought. Her new exhibit was boring to the tenth-degree boring.<em> Boredity bored-type boring.<em>

Anyway, she slowly waddled there, but as she did, she kept staring back at the city and sky. The lights...looked..._amazing_. Seriously, the bright electricity-robbing lights were captivating. People must pay hundreds of dollars a month just so they could stare at them.

Lillian soon arrived at her destination after making a right after traveling 15 meters, after waddling a certain distance. And- when Lillian hopped into her cozy home of a concrete slab, carefully avoiding the water, she soon had a ingeniously-brilliant thought came to mind.

_Where was everyone?_

* * *

><p>Inside ze H.Q., four penguins were snoring their heads off while flopped in their bunks. One specific bird was murmuring things like "Luncorns," and "rainbows," another making explosion sounds, yet another going on about someone named Doris, and the last whispered about Kung Fu, ninjas, and a ski lodge in Denmark. Perhaps not the best dreams for some.<p>

Flustered and frustrated, Lillian stood atop her new habitat's floe. It was nearing midnight, and yet her zoo-mates were nowhere to be seen. Plus, it didn't look like it would be nice to sleep out here in the cold. She pondered going over to Marlene's place, but ruled it out when she recalled how Marlene could get when woken up from a good night's rest. Basically, not a pretty situation. So, the she-penguin would be getting her forty winks out on top of the cold concrete of the penguin exhibit. Lillian decided she would yell at the boys in the morning once she found them.

Flopping down against the fish bowl, she soon fell into sleep.

* * *

><p>Morning. The sun rose into the sky, shining brightly. Birds began their symphonies of their beautiful musical melodies. Flowers blossomed into magificent colors not quite ever seen before, and all that junk.<p>

Skipper jumped out of bed, noticing that Lillian had not come down into the H.Q. last night. But of course! Lillian didn't know they had an H.Q. He mentally slapped himself. She must've thought they disappeared or something. He climbed the ladder to the decoy fishbowl and crawled out. Only then did he realize his mistake.

A blurred figure instantly came flying at him. Knocked aside from shock, when Skipper re-focused his eyes he saw that Lillian had him pinned down with mixed emotions upon her face. Though those emotions may be mixed, they were a **deadly** mix.

"_What...why...how?! _You- there, out of the fishbowl...not being here...before...I was out here, in the **freezin'** cold...just- erm..._what?!"_

Pushing the yet again confused Lillian aside, Skipper sat up. "That's what I'm wondering."

"Wh-what?! How you came out of a fishbowl from nowhere?! _That's_ what _I'm_ wondering."

He scowled. "No...I was talking about the 'what?!' part."

"I'm just wanting to know where you fellows were last night while I was stuck out in the freezing cold! And the whole fishbowl-thing isn't helping, either!" Lillian had stood up, folding her flippers across her chest as one might cross their arms.

Skipper stood up too, and tried to come up with a way to solve this problem without getting tackled by a very angry female penguin. Deciding that she had seen too much already, he began with his trademark, "You haven't seen anything..." complete with his flippers waving about in a circular motion.

The response was not a good one. "_What are you doing?!_ Has everyone been wired to be extremely unhelpful lately, or is it just you?"

Giving into the fact that Lillian wasn't going to be convinced of anything but what really happened, especially now with her patience gone a long while ago, he started the honest truth. "Well, we had this evil ninja invasion we had to take care of..." seeing her eyes narrowed to near slits, he started the **real** truth. They could always brainwash her later, right?

"We are an elite penguin force with a secret underground H.Q."

"_Riiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhht_." The she-penguin tilted her head and raised a penguin-brow. "Does Marlene know about it?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course."

"Then it's not a secret."

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's not that big of problem around here. Everyone knows we fight justice and bring crime to Central Park." The leader awaited a response, but all he received was a funny look. "I meant that we fight crime and bring justice to Centeal Park."

"'Kay. Then why didn't you guys tell me? This 'secret underground H.Q.' was never in the tour. Either that, or I have problems with amnesia."

Skipper rubbed the back of his head in a Kowalski-ish manner. Funny how other characters always use his mannerisms in times of need. "Erm...we forgot. Yes, that's it."

Lillian let out an annoyed sigh. "Just show me your magical and mysterious base already." if he wasn't going to tell her, fine, but she would find out sooner or later.

"The way you put it, you make it sound like a big box of Lucky Charms."

"Yeah, well, Lucky the Leprechaun, quit stalling and show me the prized bowl of sugary marshmellows before tomorrow comes."

"Fine," Skipper said as he propped open the fishbowl entrance. "Ladies first."

The lady of the two waddled over to the hole, stared down into it a while to decide whether or not to go in, then the best way to get in. The gentleman of the two become rather annoyed at the length of this indecisive process and proceeded to shove to young lady into the entrance that lead into the secret base.

"GAH!" Lillian was now flopped down on the floor of their H.Q. with Private, Rico, and Kowalski all staring at her. Skipper agilely hopped down from topside next to the temporarily injured Lillian. When she pulled herself up, she gave the commander a harsh glare. "That **hurt**, you know!"

Skipper shrugged. "You were taking too long, even when there was a ladder. By the way, you may want to take a break from staring me down and ploting revenge so that you can look around."

"Right. Anyway, you could have at least _told _me there was a ladder. It was hard to see with thee light." Lillian twisted her head so she could scan the room. "You guys have a secret underground base, and yet it's like you cut a hole out of a block of concrete to live in. Which you did. I was expecting it to be more...James Bond-y and high-tech and all that."

Kowalski was angered by that comment, as he usually is by other people making remarks that something of his was unimpressive. Holding out his clipboard he had been using to jot down observations about a science experiment he had been working only a moment before, he began a speech of his in a raised voice. "I'll have you know, our H.Q. is high-tech and not boring at all. We have numerus floors beneath our feet containing all-kinds of top-secret 'James Bond-y' stuff that you don't even know about. Secrets that even we don't know, minus Skipper, and tons of complex inventions created by yours truly! Oh, and the walls of our H.Q. aren't made of concrete, but instead a very similar mix always assumed to be that, containing 12.6%-"

"Kowalski, put a quarter in the show-off jar," his leader blandly stated.

Rico hacked up the required change containment unit as the science geek placed the specified amount of money into it while muttering incomprehensible words.

Lillian's eyes widened. "You have secret underground floors?! That's **so** cool! Can I have one?"

Skipper shook his head, perhaps in an answer of no, or just at how this discussion was going. "No, we don't." Lillian glared. "Alright, I give up. We'll brainwash you later. Just...don't do anything stupid in the meantime." The commander walked away with a cup of fish coffee at hand...flipper...thing.

Lillian turned to the others. "He's joking, right? I really don't know what to believe now with all this," she waved her flippers about, indicating the underwater base.

Rico answered with a peppy "should be," and left it at that. The she-penguin shrugged.

"So, anything else I should know?"

"No, not really," Kowalski said rather simply.

"Anything I probably shouldn't know?"

"Yes," catching the glint in her eye at that, the intellectual took a step backward. "Erm, I mean no...yes, that." She wasn't convinced. Kowalski muttered out the last bit of his talk akwardly before running off. "I'll be in my lab!"

"Oh, a lab! Can I see that? You didn't mention that earlier." Lillian quickly followed after him.

"Lillian certainly seems happy about being here, doesn't she, Skippah'?" spoke the shortest of the penguins.

"Yeah, sure, happy to take all our secrets," Skipper took a sip of his coffee. "She already knows about the underground levels, though she hasn't seen them- yet. She'll probably find out how to get down there, or to somewhere else, unless we aren't on high-alert, got it?"

Private and Rico nodded.

"Good. Have Kowalski set up the serveillance cameras as soon as he's out of the lab. I'm going topside." And with that, Skipper had left the building. Well, if it's actually _considered_ a building...

* * *

><p>"Lillian, please stop following me."<p>

"C'mon, Kowalski, I just want to see your lab!"

"No."

Lillian and Kowalski were standing outside his lab door, if you could guess that by now.

"Is there a specific reason why I'm not allowed to see it?"

"Yes, now please stop blocking the door so I can get inside."

Oh, and Lillian was standing in front of it to stop Kowalski from getting in.

"Fine. Don't think of me as unreasonable, I just would like an answer once in a while. Good to know there is a reason, but what is it?"

"Um...I can't tell you," the scientist sputtered out.

"Just like everything else," Lillian smirked. "I get it. But one of these days you guys are going to have to let me in on what goes around here. I'm not leaving anytime soon." She turned to walk down the hall just as Kowalski began heading into his lab.

"The main part of the H.Q. is in the other direction."

"_Grand_," the she-penguin stated sarcastically as she waddled her way back in the right direction.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sorry about this chapter being mostly dialogue; I was kind've out of my usual writing style for a while (when this was written). Not much of a cliff-hanger ending there. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up within the week. Thanks for reading, and remember...reviews, constructive or otherwise, are greatly appreciated!<strong>_


	5. Hatin' on the Humans

**Hey guys! Absolute failure on my part about updating. I haven't written much lately, but at least I have a few back up chapters to post in the meanwhile.**

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><p>"Hello Lillian. Back so soon?" piped a little British penguin.<p>

"Um...yeah. I guess so...all I did was follow Kowalski to where his lab is for one minute and you're making it sound like I went away for hours."

"Yes. That's why I said the 'soon' part," Private quickly added.

Lillian made an 'okay' type motion with her head (which in all places except a few means she nodded. Did you know that some people shake their heads 'no' to say 'yes'?).

Silence followed, which means that our short friend here has to do _something_ to break the it, as always.

"Soo...Lillian, what was your time at your old home like?"

"Oh, _that_. Trust me, it's boring. Rather not go into it," she easily put, with out looking at the private. She was too busy scanning the entire room.

"Well...you must've had at least a few good times there. You and Marlene seem to go on and on about them."

"And on and on and on and on..." Rico echoed, responded to by a quick glare from both Lillian and Private.

"Yeah...I know," she scratched the back of her neck-type-area. "I just don't see it as that important. I'm stuck here now, that's what matters." She smirked at the last bit.

"Well, you could tell us just a little about your old home, or why you were transferred," he said hopefully. Lillian raised a penguin-brow. "Please..." Private continued with a cute smile and giant begging eyes.

"Oh, alright."

"Yay! So why were you transferred?"

"Our aquarium wanted to get rid of the penguin exhibit- it wasn't doing so well in reviews or bringing in much money for them and the public was kind of bored of us. Seals are replacing us," Lillian said with a shiver. Private and Rico did likewise. "Anyway, we were basically kicked out and sent around the globe."

"Really? That's terrible! Weren't you sad at leaving all your friends?"

The she-penguin paused. "Um...sure, I guess. I wasn't that close with any of them." She suddenly spotted something someplace away from where they were standing somewhere and went to go look at it, thus ending the conversation abrubtly and leaving poor Private slightly confused. Oh, I _do _love confusing people.

Private turned to Rico, who turned out to be just as baffled by Lillian's behavior and about her home. Demolitions-expert shrugged. "Women."

However, Private is not one to give up on social situations. He decided to start with a different subject. "Why did your exhibit lose popularity? Didn't you use the 'cute and cuddly' routine?"

"The what? The 'cute and what' routine?"

Private whispered a quick "Apparently not," to Rico before explaining their main tactic to reeling in all the humans. "You give the people what they want: little adorable penguins tripping over themselves while smiling and waving, among other cute things."

"Oh," Lillian paused. "Act all super-mega happy while doing adorkable things in front of the humans, making them all warm and fuzzy inside." Private nodded. "I wouldn't do it."

_"What?!"_ As you can see, Private was taken aback by the fact that someone _didn't_ want to be all 'cute n cuddly' like he is. He just can't fathom that kind of un-rainbowness and anti-lunacornism.

"I'm not going to pretend to be amazingly adorable to humans. It's definitely not like me."

"Well, Lillian, it's not exactly like us either, except for me. Rico gets sick at the thought of cute and mushy things."

Just to prove the point, Rico hacked up a chainsaw and vigorously attacked one of Private's Lunacorns laying about while laughing psycho-manically. You know, normal stuff.

The young private let out a gasp/scream-ish sort of thing. "Rico, don't do that! That's the sixth one this month!"

"Awww..."

When everything calmed down and Private decided to go back to discussing thingy-ma-bobs with Lillian, they quickly noticed that she was gone.

* * *

><p>Skipper was waving to the zoo visitors casually, taking a sip from his coffee now and then. Strange that the human characters always seem clueless about things like that unless it's needed for the plot, right? Anyway, Lillian choose to burst out of the fishbowl at that moment, causing Skipper to simply turn around, not spilling his precious coffee at all. "Why were you flying out of there? In a hurry?" He accusingly questioned.<p>

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

The penguino leader became a bit more suspicious (like he wasn't already) at that statement. "Why the rush?"

"Oh, nothing much...just one of your friends hacking up an **_active chainsaw from his gut_**. First the dynamite stick, now _this_?! Not to mention all the other wacky stuff you have going on here! Sorry, I just need a **bit** of fresh air."

"Oh, that. Right," he turned back to the crowd. "You'll get used to it."

Lillian let out a soft sigh. "Yeah, I 'suppose so."

Silence.

"Hey, how is Rico even able to do that?"

"That's classified," Skipper stated fast and simply.

"'Guessed you were going to say that. Don't you guys give any other answers than that?" Lillian slumped down against the fishbowl.

"Sure we do. Sometimes we say 'That's confidential' or 'top-secret'."

The she-penguin rolled her eyes. "Funny."

More silence.

"Are you just going to stand there waving to the humans all day?"

"Are you just going to sit there lolly-gagging all day?"

Lillian pulled herself up. "Fine. What do I do now? Stand and wave? 'Cause I'm not going to do that 'cuddly and cute' thingy Private was talking about."

Still waving, Skipper responded with "It's 'cute and cuddly'. And yes, you do have to stand and wave. You should be capable of that."

"Simple enough," Lillian began waving to the crowd of humans, matching her wpm (waves per minute [I'm sorry, it's corny, but I had to do it]) to Skipper's. After a little bit of silence, she spoke yet again. "I feel like I'm trying to send a SOS signal to these people or something."

"Just wave."

Even **more** silence.

Lillian, clearly bored, waddled forward. "_Hey_! You people! My flipper is becoming tired so that you folks can have whatever sense of entertainment you get from two penguins standing here waving to you. What kind of life is that?! You there, in the blue shirt! You've been standing there staring at us for at least thirty minutes. **Why?!** We're not _that_ action-packed, are we? I know you folks can't understand me, but seriously- if you _are_ gonna stand there, feed us fish!" Finishing her speech, Lillian waddled back.

* * *

><p>"Mommy, I think that penguin is trying to talk to us."<p>

"Honey, penguins can't talk. Here, give the nice birdy a fish to eat."

**Smack**. Lillian was knocked to the ground. "Look, I got a fish."

_"Niiiiicccccceeee,"_ Skipper mentioned, rather sarcastically.

Quickly swallowing her newly-received fish, she responded with a muffled "I'd like to see you do that. It takes skill."

"_Suuuure_. Getting hit in the head and falling over takes a lot of talent." They went back to waving.

"It does, actually. You never know when a flying projectile is going to smack you- you gotta be ready to act and twist your body so that you get that perfect landing on your face."

"For a second there, I thought you might have been serious about that."

"Oh, 'cmon, you must've heard sarcasm before."

"Of course I have! Stop using it. Sacasm's **my** thing."

"We'll have to see about that," Lillian turned to go back into the base. "I'm going back inside. I think I've gotten more than enough fresh air."

* * *

><p>Back inside, Rico and Private were searching frantically for Lillian, due to the previous orders from Skipper to keep an eye out for her and make sure she hadn't wandered anywhere too importantly secretive. Still running about shouting things like,"Have you found her yet?" and "She's not over here," and "Lillian didn't take any peanut butter with her," and "Really? Everyone takes the peanut butter," and some of it garbled and warped in sound (either by Rico or whatever place they were doing the shouting from), it was no surprise they didn't notice that very female penguin drop in from above.<p>

"Hi guys. Watcha doin'?"

"Oh, hello Lillian," Private stated, slightly out of breath. "We were just looking for you."

"Wow...okay. Then what was with all the franticness back there?"

"Oh...nothing. Is 'franticness' even a word?"

"No idea. Maybe, maybe not. Besides, that doesn't matter: if not, then I just coined it." Private and Rico exchanged a glance. "Since I have nothing better to do, I'm going to go see what Kowalski's doing."

Private raised a penguin-brow. "But Kowalski's working in his lab."

"Yeah, I know _that_. I want to know exactly what on." And with that, Lillian wandered off and did whatever it was that she wanted to do, leaving Private there, uncertain of what to do next.

* * *

><p>Knock. "Kowalski." Knock. "Kowalski." <strong>Knock<strong>. "Ko-Wal-Ski!" **KNOCK**. "KOWALSKI!" Knock, knock, knock. "Kowalski, Kowalski, Kowalski, Kowal-"

The said Kowalski flung open the door to his lab. "_**WHAT**_, Lillian?! Is there any purpose to repeatedly knocking on the door and chanting my name faster and faster, louder and louder?!"

"Yep. You opened the door."

His flipper smacked his forehead. In an annoyed tone he asked, "What do you want, Lillian?"

"Geez...I wanted to see what you're working on."

Suddenly suspicious of her, yet slightly intrigued that anyone be interested in his science, the brainiac tried his hardest to block the opening to his lab. "Whatever for?"

"I dunno... I got bored. Humans are annoying, questions are annoying, talking about my past is annoying. Besides, your lab is glowing, indicating that something not-boring is going on in there," Lillian shrugged.

"Oh...oh! You saw that?" his voice faltered as he attempted to cover his lab even more so. She called it not-boring!

"Yeah...it's not hard to. Whatcha' doing to cause that?" Lillian attempted peering though and around Kowalski to see the place beyond, hardly to any avail.

"Well, it's um, just some science stuff..."  
>Kowalski recalled Skipper's previous orders, then put on a fake bland tone. "Trust me, it isn't that interesting."<p>

"If you say so." Lillian bowed curtiously and replied in a different, slightly humorous tone, "May I come in?"

"Er- no."

"Why not?"

"Classified information."

"Your guys' answer for everything! I'm sorry, Kowalski, I'm coming in."

He began waving his flippers frantically. She's definitely persistent... _"No no no no no no no...Lillian, you musn't-"_

"Now _this_," Lillian stared about the room, "is **_cool_**."

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><p><strong>So that's it for now, I guess. I hope to update with the next chapter next weekend. Until then, read and review! Those are always appreciated.<strong>


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